Monday, December 13, 2021

Excerpt Tour and Giveaway: Tales of a Mermaid Gone Over the Deep End by Teresa Fischtner

Welcome to my stop on the excerpt tour for Tales of a Mermaid Gone Over the Deep End by Teresa Fischtner. This tour was organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. On my stop, I have an exclusive excerpt from the book. There's also the tour wide giveaway for a chance to win a $15 Amazon or Barnes & Noble gift card. Be sure to visit the other stops on the tour for more content. Enjoy!
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Title: Tales of a Mermaid Gone Over the Deep End
Author: Teresa Fischtner
Publisher: Tellwell Talent
Publication Date: October 6th 2021
Print Length: 151 pages
Genre: Autobiography
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"It was the last class of the evening that I was teaching, and we were doing our stretches, and at the surface of the water I noticed a single floating nipple happily bobbing away on its own. Unsure if its owner was still in the water, I quietly asked the nearest lady, "Excuse me, could you just pass me that nipple over your right shoulder?

"There I held a lovely C-cup breast that went rogue. I made posters for the lost breast (seriously, I made missing boob posters). No one claimed her. I introduced her to all the instructors, but no one recognized her (honestly, they all look the same after a few years at the pool). No one ever claimed Betty (yes, we gave her a name). Betty stayed on the teachers' table in our special little box for a long time. Eventually, like all good boobs, she wrinkled up, lost her bounce, and sagged lower and lower in the box until we all forgot how much fun she was when we first found her."

This is a feel-good book of true short stories about me, my family, friends, and my aquafit business, Over the Deep End. We all have stories to share, and the true ones are always the best. I'm sharing some of my most vulnerable moments, some of my greatest moments, and some of my saddest. Hopefully, in one story or another, you find something way better than me—you might find you. We all have a story and a different way to tell it. I hope telling my stories helps you tell some of your own.

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ADVANCED PAYBACK PRAISE:
"Well, this is a little embarrassing. I didn't actually read the WHOLE book, but it's probably pretty good. I'm not sure what she said about me, but you should know—SHE shot me in the back on my 19th birthday!" – Ronny Fischtner (author's son)
 
"I love my mom and I love MOST of this book. It should be noted that my bowling has improved, I've given up hockey, accounting is for nerds, pancakes is food for super heroes and no one needs to count how many boyfriends I've had." – Malyn Fischtner (author's daughter)
 
"I'm pleased to be the source of so much humour for my wife. I just wish she didn't feel the need to publish it." – Ron Fischtner (author's husband)
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EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT:
After high school, I took a three-year business program with a major in accounting. College itself was a bit of a shock, but I loved my program. I thrived in accounting, auditing, and taxation; I tolerated marketing, music, and psych—yes, you guessed it, I was one of the cool kids! I graduated on the Dean’s list. It was the first time in my life that I could really kick ass at something. I was ready to debit my way into a great job and credit my way to the top of it!

I worked in accounting for twenty-five years with small and medium-sized companies. I was freelanced to smaller places that needed someone to do the books but were not big enough to have a full or even part-time position for me. I had a variety of clients that I went to work for or that brought their records to me. I really liked my job, and I was good at it. I can’t share any of my accounting stories—there is this thing called “client confidentiality.” If you break it, you go to hell where nothing balances, columns do not line up, and the addition is all wrong. It’s hell, and I won’t go. No accounting stories.

In my mid-forties I still liked my job, but I wasn’t excited about it anymore. I had been researching the certification processes for teaching aqua fit and financially mapped out how many classes I would need to teach to justify quitting my job and taking the aqua fit plunge. From a financial view, I should keep my job, but money isn’t everything, and who knows, maybe this aqua fit thing could really take off. I gave my notice with the promise that I would stay until they found someone to replace me. Ten months later was my last day (yes, it would have been quicker and possibly less painful to have a baby), but I left on good terms and still consider them all friends.

For twenty-five years, I sat behind a desk saying, “No, that is not in the budget. No, that is not deductible. No, that won’t pass an audit.” To a job that I stood up and yelled, “Chin in, shoulders back, tall spine, and smile!” I had gone over the deep end, mind, body and spirit, and to celebrate how crazy it all was, that’s what I named my new business: Over The Deep End. Yes, of course, Off The Deep End would have been more accurate, but accuracy is for accounting; that was my past, my future was going to unfold the way I wrote it!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Teresa Fischtner is an "aqua entrepreneur." After 25 years working in accounting, she changed careers and started teaching aquafit at her family pool. Customers come to "Over the Deep End" for full body workouts in deep water and they leave with a sense of community and friendship that Teresa has created, and all her mermaids and mermen continue to nurture.

This is Teresa's first book; she writes from her heart with honesty and humour. Comments and kindness always welcome at teresa@overthedeepend.ca.

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GIVEAWAY:
Teresa Fischtner will be awarding a $15 Amazon or Barnes & Noble gift card to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter. Good luck!

(All the Ups and Downs is not responsible for this giveaway, its entries, or the prize. Goddess Fish Promotions assumes all responsibility with this giveaway.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

26 comments:

  1. I am looking forward to reading this one!

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  2. At what age did you fully learn to swim?

    Nancy
    allibrary (at) aol (dot) com

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  3. this sounds like a wonderful book

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  4. Love the excerpt and think the book sounds good.

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  5. I enjoyed the excerpt and your autobiography sounds intriguing and fun and the cover is cool! Thanks for sharing it with me and have a magical holiday season!

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  6. This sounds like an interesting book and I also like the cover.

    abfantom at yahoo dot com

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  7. This will be quite an interesting read!
    The title is so catching.
    Thank you for sharing this with us.

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  8. It sounds like an interesting book. Thank you for sharing.

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  9. You're an aqua Entrepeneur? That is the coolest title I have ever heard. The book sounds great.

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  10. thank you for a chance to win :)

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  11. Does your family have a favorite peppermint treat that you all enjoy around the holidays?

    Nancy
    allibrary (at) aol (dot) com

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  12. looks like a fun one

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  13. On a cold day like today there is nothing I enjoy more than curling up with a good book & a fuzzy blanket!
    The ultimate in self care.

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  14. i hope you are having a great day

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  15. Looks like an interesting book.
    Thanks for the contest. 

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  16. I am always looking for a book with humor! And this is it!

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  17. The book looks delightful. Thank you for the giveaway!

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  18. I hope you have a great time over the holidays and you are such a creative amazing writer!

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