Thursday, September 16, 2021

Excerpt Tour and Giveaway - Parentectomy: A narrative ethnography of 30 cases of parental alienation and what to do about it by Christine Giancarlo

Welcome to my stop on the excerpt tour for Parentectomy: A narrative ethnography of 30 cases of parental alienation and what to do about it by Christine Giancarlo. This tour was organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. On my stop, I have an exclusive excerpt from the book. There's also the tour wide giveaway for a chance to win a $15 Amazon or Barnes & Noble gift card. Be sure to visit the other stops on the tour for more exclusive excerpts. Enjoy!
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Title: Parentectomy: A narrative ethnography of 30 cases of parental alienation and what to do about it
Author: Christine Giancarlo
Publisher: Tellwell Talent
Publication Date: December 26th 2018
Print Length: 453 pages
Genre: Non-Fiction
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When parents separate and divorce, kids come last in family law. Should children's welfare be measured in "billable hours"? Christine Giancarlo thinks kids come first and need both parents. Parentectomy moves us toward that goal... for the sake of the children.

Based on Dr. Giancarlo's peer-reviewed research study, Kids Come Last: The Effect of Family Law Involvement in Parental Alienation, this book tells, in their own voices, the stories of thirty loving, capable and dependable parents who, nonetheless, were removed from their children's lives. It is also the author's own journey through the devastation caused by parental alienation.

This book sheds light on an urgent social crisis, enabled by a broken family law system. An equitable and just model for eliminating this form of child abuse is proposed with an urgent plea for its implementation.

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EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT:
ROB

I have two daughters, Laila, twelve, and Ella, eight, and my son Tyson is six. Laila’s mother, Laura, was my first wife and the other two were born in a subsequent relationship with Joy. Laila’s mom and I separated when she was just two years old. I was already in another relationship so I think that’s the reason Laila’s mom decided to hate me. She was really upset about it. Next thing I knew, Laura told me she was keeping Laila, our home, and everything else and I was going to pay, pay, pay.

Being new to this stuff, I thought I had better get a lawyer. I hired Mick Cruise and the weird thing was, I didn’t despise my ex then but Mick liked to called her “the wifey”. He also encouraged me to “look broke, drive a crappy car, that’s how you play the game”. I was not of that mindset; I just wanted to do the separation fairly.

Mick was brutal; his hourly billing rate was middle of the road but he charged me for every single little thing. Sometimes I would get invoices when I thought we were in a quiet period so I couldn’t imagine what he was charging me for. I asked and his response was something like he had met another lawyer in the hall and they talked about my case for a while. I let him know I didn’t want him acting unless I gave him permission to do so or something significant needed attending to. It was a “silly bugger” game; he asked if he should read any emails or faxes then. After I had to ask him a third time to stop charging me thousands of dollars for nothing beyond “make work” emails and phone calls, he quit my case. I had paid him about $15,000 by then, for absolutely no progress.

Right after separation, I had an Interim Order which amounted to my parenting Laila about 30% of the time. It was every other weekend but included Friday and Monday. It wasn’t too bad. I hoped for 50% but figured at least this was decent. Soon, though, Laura would put conditions on my parenting time. For example, she said that if my girlfriend was going to be there with me, then Laila was not coming. Laura even demanded that I give her written notice or a phone call to confirm whether my girlfriend (Joy, who later became my second wife) would be around when Laila was with me. I realize that I should not have jumped into another relationship, my rebound, right away, but that was not the point.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Christine Giancarlo is an applied anthropologist at Mount Royal University since 1992. She holds a Ph.D. in Human Services from Capella University, Minnesota, and an M.A. in Primatology from the University of Calgary, Alberta. Growing up with two loving parents, four brothers and being blessed with her own children, Devon and Carmen, inform her holistic perspective on the family. Christine resides in Calgary with her partner, Bert, and their dog, Gavin.

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GIVEAWAY:
Christine Giancarlo will be awarding a $15 Amazon or Barnes & Noble gift card to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter. Good luck!

(All the Ups and Downs is not responsible for this giveaway, its entries, or the prize. Goddess Fish Promotions assumes all responsibility for everything pertaining to this giveaway.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

32 comments:

  1. Cover looks awesome! Excerpt is intriguing. Great work!

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  2. Such an important topic for today's families, I would love to read this!

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  3. I appreciate your interest, bloggers! A "parentectomy" should never happen to a child (or parent). Often, children of alienation become adults who are filled with guilt, believing themselves to be the cause of their losing one parent. Mental health issues such as anxiety and depression are often the sad consequences. If those who have been subjected to PA understand they are/were not the cause, just this fact alone can do wonders in promoting a healthier self-image and confidence.

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  4. I like that this is based on a research study. I enjoyed reading the excerpt.

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  5. Thanks for sharing an excerpt. Having a relationship while still married to your partner is a huge factor in parentectomy. That father put his new relationship first over his little girl. Unfortunately, it happens far too often, not just with men, women too.

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  6. Neat relevant theme to your book. Cheers on your tour.

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  7. Thanks so much for your comments, bloggers. Although step-parents can definitely be either an extra source of love for a child or a detriment to that child's relationship with his/her biological parent, in cases of parental alienation it has nothing to do with that aspect. In my case, for example, my then-husband (aka Grant, in the book) was abandoned by his wife when she found a boyfriend. Regardless, he became the targeted parent years before I even met him. In PA cases, the targeted parent always was and remains a positive and necessary influence on his/her child but is nevertheless erased by the other parent. Myriad solid, scientific research has found that alienators most often have unresolved issues of attachment from their own childhoods. This manifests as a personality disorder such as Borderline or Narcissism, in which the alienator's needs override those of their children. Most divorced parents realize the importance of the other parent and can put their own feelings for their ex-partner aside for the sake of their children. In PA cases, however, the alienator enmeshes with his/her children and there is a blurring of identity between the parent and child. Such parents prevent their children from learning to love and trust others, teaching hate where love is needed.

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  8. sounds like a fun one

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  9. Thanks, Zelda and Daniel. It's an important topic and, I think, easy to read and important book but as for fun... perhaps not so much ;/
    )

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  10. Sounds great, I like the cover and excerpt.

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  11. This sounds like an interesting book and I also like the cover.

    abfantom at yahoo dot com

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  12. The feedback is much appreciated, Susan and Ann! I wanted the cover to depict a gender-neutral child and parents since this can happen in ANY family, unfortunately.

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  13. Parentectomy: A narrative ethnography of 30 cases of parental alienation and what to do about it seems like a book that is informative and that would be helpful for many people.

    Nancy
    allibrary (at) aol (dot) com

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  14. Yes, Nancy, thank you and I certainly believe that to be true. Children need as much love as possible, from everyone in their lives and on both sides of the their families.

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  15. This is quite a helpful book.
    First time I have seen anything like it.
    Thank you for sharing this with us.

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  16. Much appreciated, Barbara, and all of you for sharing your thoughts today about my book, Parentectomy. Best wishes in your own writing and blogging endeavours!

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  17. What is your favorite thing to do in the Fall?

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  18. Looks like an interesting book.
    Thanks for the contest. 

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  19. I totally understand parental alienation currently still happening to me with my ex and his wife with my daughter.

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  20. This sounds like an interesting book on an important topic.

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  21. Tell me about the best day of your life.

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  22. This sounds like my kind of read and I love the cover.
    Heather hgtempaddy

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  23. Sounds like an interesting read. Thanks for sharing!

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